Ostara 2020 – 23rd Sep 1:03am

Ostara 2021 – 23rd Sep 7:21am

According to my journal, nothing much happened for Ostara last year….which seems unlikely.

This year, in contrast, saw NZ, and Auckland in particular, in the middle of another COVID-19 surge, this time caused by the Delta strain reaching our shores and causing community outbreaks.

Initially I was quite neutral about the lock-down; we went straight to L4 (highest restriction level) lockdown. But then it continued, on and on, it continued and with it came a mountain of anxieties, more so than usual, as I plan to elaborate on further on. In total, Auckland was to spend 5 weeks at L4 lockdown, and as of now, we are in Level 3 lockdown.

You see…along with the begrudging acceptance of having to stay home and revert to all communications being through the internet…I began to dive into communicating with one person in particular. This person had caught my eye at a friend’s b-day last July, and there has been an instant connection. We are both language-learning fanatics, passionate about the land, exploration and supporting those we love.

Our conversations evolved. The flirtatious tone increased. The anxieties heightened. Until one night, I made a fairly clear (but still oblique) inquiry as to whether he had more than platonic interest in mind. And then I panicked, as one does when the stakes are high. He answered with incredible balance, not laying any clues to confirm or deny his feelings and we decided to revisit the topic the next day.

The next day….was probably one of the best days of my life. It turned out…that while I had been falling slowly, steadily, heavily for him, he had been falling slowly, steadily, heavily for me. All the small anxiety-ladden moments we shared during the past year finally made sense.

Since then, I have been so grateful and blessed to be able to explore myself and him together, our bond growing stronger and deepening as we overcome many obstacles together, including the physical distance enforced by lock-down, amongst others.

And now that I have elaborated somewhat, you may be able to recognise how a 5 week lockdown was more than a niggle of annoyance for to not be able to see/hold hands with the love of one’s life is the purest form of agony.

Ours is a bond forged in fire.

Happy Spring everyone! 🙂