I miss you.

Dear Friend,

I wish I could tell you about all of my exciting, upcoming life plans, and here about everything you’ve got planned for the coming year. I wish we could yabber away together the way we used to when both of us would attempt to stay on topic and fail miserably. I wish we could commiserate together and analysis the sad aspects of this world, all the while enjoying each other’s company. I wish we could go swimming together with all our mutual friends, free-spirited and gleefully, like we used to.

Dear Friend,

I think of you often. When I am happy, I think of your hilarious, magnificent laughter that would tumble out of your throat as though it was trying to escape. When I am content, I think to you with nostalgia about the times we shared discussing world and local politics, and mostly agreeing on everything. When I feel confused or overwhelmed, I remember how, at times, you felt the same way, however it is when I am feeling at my lowest that I feel closest to you. It is at these moments that I feel your love reaching towards me through the thin veil of death, as I too reach out to you on the metaphysical wide open plains of existence.

Dear Friend,

Its not so bad here. But the world is so much lesser for you not being around, and it freakin’ sucks. There is a giant 25-year-old-person-sized wound in my heart-mind and it is never going to be filled. The bonds of love are growing even stronger amongst us who knew you, like a cavity in a cave when the lime-stone is slowly formed into stalacmites and stalactites which merge as the cave grows larger, we grow together, sharing fond memories of you and sometimes desperately trying to fill that space that you have vacated.

Dear Friend,

I still miss you, but I find solace in knowing that while I hold you close to my heart each day, each month and each year, your love I feel will not lessen. And while myself and others still exchange stories of you, and speak your name, you will not be forgotten.

I’m so immensely glad I had the chance to get to know you. Thank you for being unapologetically yourself, and teaching me to life the same way.

I miss you. I love you.

I miss you.